I spent yesterday walking around my house doing nothing. I felt lost. pointless. See this is what happens when I miss my meds. I had a lasp in my scripts and it seems to have messed me up more than I thought. That and the fact that I cant seem to find a job. I applied to be a frickin cashier at a grocery store and I didn't get it, I tried to get a job at SMU that only required a highschool diploma and I didnt get that. I have not heard back from temp agencies and our money situation is now dire. That in and of itsself is depressing. So i have had day sof blank. Feeling empty & lost, pointless & absurd. Worthless. But not dispairing. I think htat is a result of the Abilify. I dont feel desperate. But it is weird to feeldown without that black cloud.
I've been trying to crochet to feel better. Intresting attempt but not totally successful. I keep wanting to make soap but just can't get started. I hate depression.
I still want to make a chicken tractor and get chickens. It is frustrating not to be able to do something I want to do so badly.