Monday, December 12, 2005

what I do when I'm down

I make something. in the last few days it has been soap. I love the process of making soap the danger with the lye, the hot oil, but the miracle is the transformation of the whole thing. From 2 diparate entities to something altogether different.
from the top. oatmeal honey and heavy cream unscented but it smells like oats.
Osmanthus Fragrance w/ blue swirls
Blackberry sage fragraence with purp;le& blue color
Spearmint patchouli Essential oils w green mica swirl
yellow orange grapefruit
pink rose sandalwood
green juniper sage.
I like to soap.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

a better day

I feel alot better today. I still have that lost feeling but just not as sad. It iced last night so I have DD & friend over so I suspect that I will get nothing done at all so feeling lost id not a problem today. I'm going to try to make a batch of soap to make me feel better.

the blue one is scented with Osmanthus Fragrance and the tan one is a plain oatmeal, honey and cream bar.
Also I sold 3 items from my Etsy Store! WooHoo

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

days of Blank

I spent yesterday walking around my house doing nothing. I felt lost. pointless. See this is what happens when I miss my meds. I had a lasp in my scripts and it seems to have messed me up more than I thought. That and the fact that I cant seem to find a job. I applied to be a frickin cashier at a grocery store and I didn't get it, I tried to get a job at SMU that only required a highschool diploma and I didnt get that. I have not heard back from temp agencies and our money situation is now dire. That in and of itsself is depressing. So i have had day sof blank. Feeling empty & lost, pointless & absurd. Worthless. But not dispairing. I think htat is a result of the Abilify. I dont feel desperate. But it is weird to feeldown without that black cloud.
I've been trying to crochet to feel better. Intresting attempt but not totally successful. I keep wanting to make soap but just can't get started. I hate depression.

I still want to make a chicken tractor and get chickens. It is frustrating not to be able to do something I want to do so badly.